Fire Jon Barry March 5th Broadcast Breakdown (Hawks Vs. Blazers)

Fire Jon Barry version of Rust Cohle True Detective Storage Locker

Back with another Fire Jon Barry Broadcast breakdown, getting my Rust Cohle Storage Shed on. (Getting a lot of “you have too much time on your hands” or “you are obsessed” comments on the Fire Jon Barry efforts, but whatevs, once I get on a case, can’t let go until it’s finished.)

The night started off with my prediction of 10 angry tweets from viewers moved to share their frustration when they tuned into the game and found out that Jon Barry was calling the game – I fell one short, as there were 9. I felt pretty good about the prediction though, getting my Vegas on. Like Rust Cohle, I am starting to really feel the pulse of the case… against Jon Barry.

On this broadcast Jon Barry is matched up with Mark Jones, not sure what is up with Dave Pasch, maybe he got pissed at JB for making fun of his Orangemen losing to Duke on a questionable call.

Early in the action, Jon Barry gets right into it with his own personal version of Seven Seconds or Less, declaring Kyle Korver “the best shooter in the league.” I think you can certainly make a case for Korver being one of the top shooters, but anyone who is watching the NBA on a nightly basis knows that Steph Curry is currently the best shooter in the league. Curry is a force of nature. Korver is a fantastic spot up shooter, and will knock ‘em down, no doubt. “You don’t hear people talk about it” is classic Barryism. I am pretty sure this means that he didn’t talk about it before he got the packet of info that his stats dudes gave him just before the game. Who doesn’t talk about Kyle Korver being able to fill it up? He totally can. He has the best 3P% in the league this year. His reference to the 127 game 3 pointer streak is also a harbinger of negativity to come.

Jon Barry loves him some Jeff Teague. In this clip, he first runs down Mark Jones for saying that Teague was averaging 24 pts/gm over the past 4 games, which is a total Barry move. You can hear Mark Jones with the “dude-you-are-a-dick-under-the-breath-chuckle” that Barry’s play-by-play man often employs when Barry takes a potshot (this occurs frequently). Then he is on to the good stuff. “When Jeff Teague knocks down a perimeter jump shot is almost unguardable.” That is literally the first time I have ever heard anyone use the word “unguardable” to describe Jeff Teague.

I have noticed that Jon Barry has a definitive pattern when he makes bold claims. It goes something like this: BOLD CLAIM > Nonsense Fact Which Doesn’t Support the Bold Claim. He follows up the Jeff Teague is unguardable claim with another beauty.  Talking about Atlanta: “This is a team that I believe is playing for 2015.” Right now Atlanta is a playoff team, even after their injuries, and they were pushing along as the 3 seed in the East to start the season before losing their big men. Atlanta is most definitely not playing Tankonia, they are trying to win this year, and, until the spate of injuries, they were doing a pretty damn good job. Atlanta isn’t in the Heat/Pacers territory in the East, but I think they are in the group just below that in the East (along with Toronto and Washington), record notwithstanding. So then JB, as he is wont to do, gets weird with a nonsense fact. “Even their All-Star Paul Millsap, will be done with his contract next year, they signed him to a two year contract, so he’ll be up after next year.” So they are playing for next year because Paul Millsap will be expiring after next year? Because he is playing for them again next year?  I don’t understand. I wish that Mike Budenholzer was reacting to JB’s analysis at the end of this clip, his expression is perfect. Wha?!??  Maybe this is what Rust is talking about when he says that time is a flat circle.

Breaking down Budenholzer’s career, Mark Jones notes that he broke into the league as a video coordinator for the Spurs. JB says “that’s the trick isn’t it” (presumably he means that is the trick to becoming a head coach in the NBA?) “just like Spoelstra.” Spo was indeed hired as vid coordinator of the Heat. Mike Brown is probably the more clear example, as he, like Budenholzer, broke into the league as video coordinator for the Spurs. So there you have it ladies and gents, the way to become a head coach in the NBA is to first have an entry-level job in the NBA coaching ranks.

Fire-Jon-Barry-As-Morpheus

JB breaking it down, our personal Morpheus, revealing deep hidden truths about the NBA.

Jon Barry on Wes Matthews: “They call him Mr. Durable around here” What they actually call him, Jon Barry, is Iron Man.

“Does it count if he makes three free throws?” Jon Barry asks about the Kyle Korver three pointer streak. Apologies to the NBA, but Jon Barry is Where Amazing Happens.

Jon Barry with some more Morpheus action, talking here about the Hawks losing streak, which dropped them from 3rd to 8th in the East, and how they are still in the playoff hunt. “If you lose 11 of 12 in the West, goodbye, your season is over.” Yes JB, the West, it is better than the East.  Truth.

I am not Mike D’Antoni, more Mike Brown, but I think I grasp how a fast break is supposed to be run. Big guy should look for ballhandler to get him the ball to run the break. Ballhandler should get to the middle of the floor. Everyone besides the ballhandler gets to the wings or follows another guy on the wing. Basketball nerds smarter than me, feel free to correct me if I am off base. Here we have Demarre Carroll snagging a long rebound at the top of the key, and realizing he has nothing but space in front of him. (It would be best if he could get it to a ballhandler here, but he has open court in front of him, everyone is behind him at the point he gets the long rebound). He quickly drives straight down the lane, with Louis Williams on the wing. Williams pushes in too close to Carroll. Carroll is able to get to the rim but misses a contested layup, which Muscala cleans up as the trailer. “That was a poor break, two offensive players for Atlanta were too close together, you gotta really spread that out if you are Carroll, and get that basketball to the wing” I agree that it was a poor fast break, but only because Louis Williams didn’t spread further out to the wing. I have never seen someone say a player should take the ball to the wing on a fast break.

Mark Jones, unsung champion of the Fire Jon Barry movement, we salute you. In this next clip we have Jon Barry calling Kyle Korver’s missed three. He does the fake enthusiasm thing, and then a super weird and sarcastic “Oh, my goodness, I can’t believe it.” I don’t understand. Mark Jones then comes at him though with a “You want to be calling the game when the streak ends, though, right?” question to JB. Mark Jones, saying what we are all thinking.

And we close with Jon Barry doing the thing where he is a jerk to his play-by-play guy. Mark Jones shows the Eastern Conference standings, and then asks about Toronto being the #3 seed, which is not that unreasonable of a question, I think Toronto being that high is notable and worth discussing. “I knew you were going to take Toronto since you are from Canada… Out of ten teams you want to talk about Toronto.” Stay Classy JB.

Jon Barry, near as I can tell, is truly The Yellow King.

Fire-jon-barry-as-the-yellow-king-rust-cohle-and-marty-in-the-true-detective-storage-locker

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